Two Women- A Poem

One of the most challenging parts of writing my memoir was going back in time, re-living painful experiences and translating them into words. Some memories reached back to childhood. Others were more recent, from my life as a busy working mom of twins, who left a dream job for family, and in the process, lost a huge part of my identity and self-worth.

I’m sharing my story not because I think it is so exceptional, but because it isn’t. In many ways, it’s every woman’s story. I’ve tried to make my book as real, raw and honest as possible. And hopefully, other women will read it, see themselves in it and quietly say, me too.

One day while writing my manuscript, I veered away from the chapters and crafted this poem, “Two Women.” It was about a time when I was really hurting. My children were almost teenagers, my marriage was dying, though I didn’t see it, or perhaps wouldn’t let myself. What I did know was that I was lonely and unfulfilled.

I came across the poem last week. Reading it now, I feel so much compassion for the Katie I was then. I was deeply wounded, desperately searching for what I needed beyond my role as mom and wife to feel more complete.

Fortunately, I listened to her. Acknowledged she wanted and deserved more.

It’s been nearly a decade since that chapter of my life. I’m in a much better place– happy in my second marriage, more clear about who I am and what I want out of relationships, my work and what makes my soul content.

I’m sharing, “Two Women” with you in case it resonates with you, a friend, or someone you love. Few of us talk about the pain we live through because we’re afraid of being judged. But I want you to know you’re not alone.

I’m also sharing it as a reminder that nothing lasts forever. Change allows us the opportunity to grow and evolve. And as the last line of the poem suggests, we can again learn how to fly.

Thanks for reading.

Two Women
A Poem 

I was two women.

A woman whose world revolved around others.
The one needed by so many, whose heart and path weren’t her own.

A woman who willingly devoted her entirety to those she loved- gave up her time, energy, and sense of self. 

And another woman who observed the first from a far.

I faded into the background.
Witnessed her innate ability to love,
Transform into a deep desire to please.

Expecting no reciprocity but secretly craving it.
Wanting to be adored and nurtured so that she too felt safe and free to be who she wanted-
Free to be me. 

I patiently waited for that other woman to break because then I’d have my chance.
An opportunity to be heard again, acknowledged, have my own desires met.

Because even though we are expected to be selfless,
Being solely focused on others can extinguish our light, rob our spirit, quash the needs of our own soul.

We too need to be fed, supported, and loved.
Without that we aren’t complete.
Without that we cannot fly.